Silence Please!

I think I’ve written about this before, but I simply need to know again: What is it with people talking in theatres?

 
I mean, is nothing sacred anymore? Should I just sit there while everyone acts like they are sitting in the privacy of their own homes commenting on a TV show, instead of a public place where other people are trying to enjoy the movie?

As Firefly so brilliantly teaches us, there is a special hell reserved for people who talk in the theatres.

But what about people who constantly check their phones, blinding the people behind them for several rows. Or the people who actually—and I kid you not—start CALLING someone during a show. “No I can talk.”  …. No you really can’t. You’re in a freaking cinema!

A (good) movie is a form of escapism. It provides us with about two hours of fun in which we get to be someone else and not worry about our own problems. Even as a kid I loved that feeling a good movie could give you, walking down the stairs to the exit, feeling for a moment longer like you were the hero of the movie and just did all those kick-ass stunts or delivered that clever dialogue. And whenever I see someone whip out their phone twenty times an hour, horror images from 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Feed, A Brave New World and several Doctor Who episodes featuring the Cybermen come to mind. And I wonder how much of those novels is still completely fiction. What is so important that it couldn’t wait two hours? Are they really so addicted to their phones that they don’t even notice?

I won’t lie, I usually have my phone ready as well and it has spared me many awkward moments where you are waiting for someone, with nothing to do and can be saved by not just pretending to have a text, but actually playing a game or surf the internet. But thankfully I am still able to refrain from checking my phone constantly during other activities such as reading, having a conversation or being at the movies.

Then there are the people who just comment constantly on what is being said, in a voice loud enough so that the whole theatre will be able to hear them. Only a few days ago I went to see Last Vegas with my mother and this guy next to me kept on commenting on EVERY JOKE. Instead of laughing, like a normal human being he kept on shouting things like “Oh that’s good. That there is brilliant, who wrote this. That is quality work” etc. Etc. Etc. That’s just as bad as being one of those people who keep saying “LOL” or “That’s so funny” instead of giving you a chuckle. Still, I could live with it. But to top it up he then started to have this whole loud conversation with his girlfriend, while I tried to actually hear what  was being said on screen.

After a while I got too pissed off to enjoy the movie so I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to be quiet. The same thing happened that usually happen when I ask this, mostly in the silent compartment of trains: *eyes widen like they had no idea other people could also hear their raised voices and they weren’t living in a private glass bubble* (Reminds me of people who say bad things on twitter about @someone and then are surprised when they find out) “Oh I’m sorry. Sure!” and then turn to the girlfriend to say in a very loud whisper that I want them to be quiet.

And of course, nothing changes. Only now they are aware of my annoyance. To their credit, they didn’t start another conversation, but still.

And don’t get me started on people who walk about several times to go to the bathroom, get a snack etc. etc. Especially since in the Netherlands there is a 15 minute break in between the movie! I swear if I had a remote to pause the film every time something like this happened, I would still be in there now…

What cinema horror stories do you have? Or do you think talking at a cinema should be allowed? Let me know!

And as always, keep writing!

Xx
Noortje

Ps. Yes I use movies and cinema and theatre. I always speak a mix of American and British which really messes up my grammar! In the Netherlands we call it ‘Naar de film gaan” (or bioscoop) aka “going to the films.”